You Know What's Annoying?

Every now and then I will get an antsy pants customer who doesn't want to wait their turn. Before I even have a chance to take their drink order, their barking it out to me. Depending on how annoying this customer is, I might just drop whatever it is that I'm doing and help them. The faster I help them, the sooner I can get them out of my face.

The annoying part is when I do make their drinks for them right away, I go to deliver their drinks and they are nowhere to be found.

If you are in such a damn hurry to get your drinks and the bartender drops whatever they're doing to help you, than the least you can do is wait at the bar for the drinks you so hastily ordered.

I mean is that too much to ask annoying customer?

TL in the New Yeah Yeah Yeahs Video

Check this out!! The new Yeah Yeah Yeahs video was filmed all over the Tenderloin and North Beach. I recognize all the places in the TL of course. Some of the spots are right by my house like the mural on the side of the Shooting Gallery. TL Represent!! Notice the Super Discount store that they are dancing in at the end of the video? Yeah, that's like a half a block away from the club I used to bartend at for like three years. I was in there all the time. So F---ing cool! I love seeing San Francisco in stuff like this.

Check out the video: Yeah Yeah Yeahs-Zero

Proof That We CAN All Get Along

Dog,Cat,Rat

I saw these guys walking around Union Square a couple weeks ago. It was seriously one of the cutest things I have ever seen. Check out the video:

Alcohol Can Make People Do Stupid Things

Alcohol can make people do stupid things. Things that, when they wake up in the morning, realize that they regret ever doing or saying the night before. I know how that feels. Most of us do.

But there comes a time when you have to ask yourself, "Is it the alcohol or is that person just a douche bag?" And you know what? I am flippin tired of asking myself this same damn question over and over again.

If it looks like a douche bag, talks like a douche bag and acts like a douche bag, then it must be a douche bag.

New Series: Busting Bar Myths Mondays

I started a new series on my SF Bartender Examiner page called, "Busting Bar Myths Mondays."

So far, I have posted three parts:

Busting Bar Myths #1: Grenadine
Busting Bar Myths #2: Olive Juice
Busting Bar Myths #3: Simple Syrup (Newest Article!!)

I will be adding a new article, busting various bar myths, every Monday so be sure to keep checking back on my Examiner.com page.

Just when I think I know all there is to know about bartending, I learn something new. That's the beauty of bartending.

I don't care what anyone says, YES YOU CAN be a career bartender and it's nothing to be ashamed about.

I Overheard a Crackhead Say...Pt. 4

I just overheard a guy crackhead trying to pick up on a female crackhead by yelling to her as she was getting off the bus, "That's a nice outfit lady!" he failed to get any sort of response

It's along the same lines as when guys drive by and catcall or make kissing noises in order to get a female's attention. How do they think that approach is actually going to yield a positive response from anyone? So why do they do it?

Still No Word

Still no word regarding the second interview I had last weekend at the strip club, for the bartending position. I was told to call on Tuesday night and check in on the status of my application. I have called twice now and still haven't heard either way.

I'm not giving up. I plan on continuing to call until I either hear a YES or a NO. It's not like I have anything to lose. I already have a solid work schedule. It just would be icing on the cake to be able to bartend in a strip club.

Okay, let's be honest. How cool would it be to look at boobies all night and make a bunch of money? Sounds like an awesome gig to me.

Call me and hire me!

I Want!!

Hello Kitty Hell

For those of you who know me, know how much I love Hello Kitty. I love Hello Kitty so much that I have her face tattooed on my wrist. I love her for life.

I stumbled upon this blog tonight thanks to Twitter:

Hello Kitty Hell: One Man’s Life With Cute Overload

It seems like this guy hates Hello Kitty because his wife is a fanatic. Reminds me of the time I was getting my Hello Kitty tattoo and the guy who was tattooing me (in the middle of me getting my tattoo) told me how his ex-girlfriend loved Hello Kitty and was psycho and then asked me if I was psycho. I should have stabbed him with his own needle, but I didn't want to interfere with getting a nicely done tattoo.

This is for both the Hello Kitty fans and the non-Hello Kitty fans out there. I think you will both get a kick out of this. I know I did.

Major Bar Faux Pas

Most of the time, I really enjoy my customers at the bar. Honestly. No joke. I am very fortunate to work in an environment where my customers are respectful towards our staff and are a genuine pleasure to serve. The smile on my face is for real because I truly am happy to be working behind the bar I am at now.

Over the years, I have come across customers who want to make my night a painful one, whether it be intentional or not. There are a few things a customer can do that can really annoy or piss a bartender off. If you fear you might be getting ignored by the bartender or receiving exceptionally weak drinks, check to see if you are committing any one of the following major bar faux pas:

1. Placing the same drink order with multiple bartenders.
When a customer places an order with one bartender, that customer needs to stay with that bartender throughout the whole transaction. Otherwise, if the customer places the same drink order with more than one bartender, that customer is going to receive more drinks than they bargained for. Not only does this eat up valuable drink making time, but it costs money and wastes product. The bartender has to try and sell those extra drinks or throw them out. Either way, the bartender will remember that customer on their next round and make the customer pay in the form of an extra wait or an extra weak drink.

2. Picking up the napkin a bartender places in front of the customer.
When a bartender places a napkin or coaster in front of a customer, they are communicating to the rest of the bartenders behind the bar that the customer has been acknowledged, approached and had their order taken. If a customer picks up the napkin and uses it to blow their nose or clean off the bar, the other bartenders behind the bar have no way of knowing whether or not that customer has been helped without having to ask them. The marking with the napkin or coaster prevents the customer from being bombarded by multiple bartenders for their drink order. Customers should relax. It's their night off. Leave the cleaning of the bar top to the bartender.

3. Snapping fingers to get the bartenders attention.
Bartenders are humans, not dogs. There is no reason to treat a bartender like a dog. It's disrespectful and rude.

4. Telling the bartender to "Make it strong!"
If a customer places their drink order and follows the order with the instructions to "Make it strong!", that customer is assuming that the bartender would have made them a weak drink. Customers should give bartenders a chance. If a customer orders their first round and finds that the drinks were on the weak side, they should mention it to the bartender on the second round or ask for a double. A customer should never assume that the bartender is going to make a weak drink or else that is exactly what the customer will get.

5. Not leaving a tip.
This goes without saying. Bartenders provide a service for their customers in hopes of being rewarded by their customers in the form of a tip. If a customer stiffs a bartender, that bartender NEVER forgets. EVER.

I Overheard A Crackhead Say...Pt. 3

No one aboard the bus I was riding had pulled the chord to request that the driver make a stop so the bus driver continued driving on down the street. A crackhead on the bus realized that the stop being passed up was where he wanted to get off. The crackhead angrily yelled at the MUNI driver "Do your job!" as he pulled the chord.

I found the situation to be rather funny. I mean, what does a crackhead know about work anyway?

I Overheard A Crackhead Say...Pt. 2

I overheard a crackhead asking the mailman yesterday if his letter from Ed McMahon had arrived yet.

I was laughing about the comment all day long. Some crackheads have quite a sense of humor.

I Overheard A Crackhead Say...Pt. 1

Tonight as I finished having dinner somewhere deep in the Tenderloin, I stumbled upon the middle of a screaming match between a couple of crackheads.

I managed to catch the closing argument which came from a rather angry female crackhead where she shouted, "You can tell your cunt ass girlfriend over at General Hospital to suck YOUR dick!"

Why are the crackheads here in the city so damn entertaining?

What is the ABC?

Hopefully EVERY working bartender here in the state of California knows and understands what the ABC is, why it exists and how it works.

I wrote and published an article on California's Department of Alcohol Beverage Control today. I feel like this is such an important part of bartending that I wanted to link the article here in my bartender blog as well.

SF Bartender Examiner: What is the ABC?

There are many aspects to the ABC, which I will be covering on my Examiner page over the next week. Stay tuned and stay informed.

Hoodscope: The Legend of the Bacon Hot Dog Cart

I was on the Hoodscope blog and found a great article about the late-night Hot Dog vendors here in San Francisco. If you have ever smelled the bacon-wrapped hot dogs grilling outside of the bar or club you stumbled out of drunk, late night, on any given weekend, chances are you probably have eaten one. They are too tempting to resist. Especially when you're drunk.

In New York late night, you crave a slice. Here in San Francisco, we eat bacon wrapped hot dogs.

Read it and weep tears of joy.

I apologize for the hot dog craving now.
"The Legend of the Bacon Hot Dog Cart"

Thankful I Don't Work in Retail Anymore

The other day, I was having a snack in a nearby mall and was people watching. I LOVE people watching. I saw groups of women who were clearly on their lunch break from their job at the mall. They were all dressed up, had their fake smiles on and were being overly fake with one another. It's like they couldn't turn off their "retail game face" even on their break from the job. Sad. I felt sorry for them. Then I remembered.....

I worked in retail once in my life. It was right after I had graduated from high school. I thought it would be glamourous to work in a mall. I had just gotten my first credit card and welcomed the discounts working in the mall would give me. I did pretty well. I had no problem getting customers to sign up for the store issued credit cards by enticing them with the ten percent discount they would be receiving on thier purchase and that they didn't have to pay for their purchase today if they got approved. Sneaky. Not to mention, I could sell clothes to people like a mo-fo. I was so good at my retail job that they offered me a permanent, cushioned position in the Juniors department three months after I had started working there. Shortly after being offered the full-time position, I had had enough. Retail drove me crazy and I was spending more money on clothing than I was making. So I quit.

It would suck to work in retail as a mall girl. I would know. I was once one. Working in a mall can be boring. You have to kiss people's ass for a living, all day long. You basically end up living your life in a mall and are always tempted to spend your paycheck on clothes. It was near impossible for me to budget my money when I worked in a mall.

I'm really glad that I never got stuck in retail. I like the idea of getting people drunk for a living a lot better. I'm a lot happier bartending, teaching people how to bartend and writing about bartending.

Cool Bartenders

There is something really cool about a bartender who drinks with you. I know I have drank with my fair share of customers over the years.

I came across this bartender on my first trip to New York, back in 2006. He was working the small bar in the back of the place. The bar looked like it used to be a closet that they decided to stick a well and some booze in. This guy was way cool. He took shots with us the entire time we were there. Needless to say we had a great ol' time and got pretty shitty.

I miss New York.

Second Interview

Ask and you shall receive.

I had an interview on Thursday night with a local strip club, to bartend. The interview went rather well. I am scheduled for a second interview tonight.

Keep your fingers crossed for me. I am beyond excited for the opportunity. I have always wanted to bartend in a strip club and now it looks like I will finally get my chance.

Setting a New Goal For Myself

I am setting a new goal for myself. I want to bartend in a strip club. I am giving myself six months to fulfill this goal.

Now, I am not going to up and leave my current bar because that would be silly. I LOVE my current bar and have no desire to leave it anytime soon. Besides, I am only there two nights a week. Instead of twiddling my thumbs on my weekend nights and pissing my cash away, I thought it would make more sense to spend those hours making more cash. It might even help keep me out of trouble.

I am just looking for a couple extra shifts a week and would like them to be in a strip club. I have never bartended in a strip club before and think it would be a lot of fun. Could you imagine all of the stories?

I already got a live lead for a local club, so stay tuned.

SF Gate Article: Sweetening Agents

Check out this SF Gate article titled, "Spirits: Bartenders find new ways to sweeten the deal"

San Francisco bartenders are getting creative with the sweetening agents used to flavor the drinks they make. How fancy!

Filming in the City

Seems like there are a lot of things being filmed in the city lately. Yesterday, downtown was being swarmed by two helicopters for most of the day. Everyone walking downtown kept looking up into the sky, trying to figure out why there were two helicopters flying rather low over the city. Turns out, they were filming the NBC television pilot "Trauma." The show will be set in San Francisco. How very cool.

Today as I walked out of the house to go to work, I had a notice under my door saying that a film crew would be closing my street and a couple nearby streets over the next week because they're going to be filming driving scenes including a car crash sequence for 'Trauma." The crackheads are going to love this one!!

I always love seeing San Francisco on TV. Especially the parts of the city where I spend a lot of my time. What is also very cool about all of the filming in San Francisco is the money. The money that the crews will spend while they are here. The money the tourists will spend while they visit here because let's face it, the more a city is seen on TV, the popular it becomes and then people want to travel there.

I welcome tourists with open arms. Come one, come all. Spend your money here please. The bar I work at seems to be very popular with the tourists, so the more tourists in town, the more money in my pocket.

Oh by the way, did you know the next issue of my zine (Xploited Zine) is all about tourists? Looks like I will have plenty to write about over the next couple of months.

Summer is a-coming!!!

You Know You Are in San Francisco When....

You know you are in San Francisco when the guy standing behind you in the grocery line knows just as much about celebrity gossip as you do.

Cabbie, WTF?

Last night on my way home from work (I always take a cab home after work because it's much safer than public transportation or walking late at night), my cabbie decides to pull over to these two scantily dressed girls who were trying to wave down a cab from a street corner. I immediately ask my cabbie, "What the F are you DOING?" He turned around, looked at me and told me he wanted to ask to see if they were going in the same direction we were. I told him no way. First of all, he already had a paying fare (ME) and second, I had been working all night long, was tired, had to get up for work early in the morning and didn't have any desire to share my cab with anyone. I couldn't believe that the cabbie actually tried to argue with me about picking these girls up. Are you serious? I have NEVER had a cabbie try to pick up extra fare on my dime. I know we are in a recession, but this was stupid.

Despite the fact that I told the cabbie repeatedly not to pull over and pick up the random girls (Shit, they could get their own cab), he decided to pull over anyways and ask the girls if they needed a ride. When the girls saw that I was in the back of the cab, they looked at the cabbie, looked confused and then asked him why he had pulled over if he already had someone in the car.

Stupid cabbie. I told him not to pull over. What was he expecting? All of us to climb into the cab and have one happy party? The guy pissed me off so I only tipped him one dollar. For the stunt he pulled, I shouldn't have tipped him at all, but we are in a recession after all.

This incident almost pissed me off as much as the cabbie who dropped me off one time and decided to keep my change, assuming that was what I was going to tip him. It's cabbies like these fools that give other cabbies a bad rep.

You Know You Are In San Francisco When....

You know you are in San Francisco when somebody says "Tenderloin" and you don't think of steak.

Five Drinks That Bartenders Just Hate to Make

Here is a great article I found this morning. As a working bartender, I agree with all of the points made in the article. I despise having to make mojitos and lemondrops when I am really, really busy. People order these drinks when a bar is packed and then they wonder why it takes so long for them to get their drink.

Check out the article here:

SF Gate Article: Five Drinks That Bartenders Just Hate to Make

How to be a Good Customer (and Get Your Drinks Faster)

On my Examiner.com page, I am starting a new series called, "How to be a Good Customer (and Get Your Drinks Faster)". My idea is to help customers have a better bar experience while educating them for my fellow bartenders.

I think it's important for customers and bartenders to understand both sides of the bar. This series is geared more towards educating general bar patrons on following proper bar etiquette when ordering their drinks.

I understand that for as many crappy customers there are out there, there are just as many crappy bartenders, so be sure to read my other article, What Makes a Great Bartender?. And when you do spot those great bartenders out there, be sure to let them know how much you appreciate them in the form of a tip AND a compliment.

If you take good care of your bartenders, they will always take care of you.

Do They Even Know What They're Ordering?

Occasionally, I will come across a customer at the bar who will order something and from the way they order it, I can tell they have no idea what it is that they are ordering. Case in point, a couple of nights ago I had a younger gentleman come in and order some food to go. As he was waiting for his food, he wanted to order a drink. I was more than happy to help him. When I asked him what he wanted to drink, he asked for Hennessey. Ah. A cognac drinker. Being the educated bartender I am, I knew that we didn't have Hennessey so I offered the alternative I had, Courvoisier. He gave me the okay that the Courvoisier would work.

Before I poured the drink, I asked my customer if he wanted his cognac served neat. The gentleman looked at me puzzled and asked, "What?" I asked him again if he would like his cognac served NEAT. He still didn't have a clue as to what I was trying to ask him. I explained to him, when you serve cognac neat, that means it is served without ice, room temperature. If he wanted it served on ice, that would mean he would want it over. My customer told me that whenever he was "in da club", they would serve his Henny with ice. I told him no problem as I grabbed a rocks glass and threw some ice in there before pouring the cognac.

Sometimes people don't know exactly what they are ordering. They just see or hear about it on MTV and assume that if the big rappers are drinking it, then it must be good. This is why in situations such as this one, it's up to the bartender to educate their customers.

You Know You Are In San Francisco When....

I know that this isn't bartending related but:

You know you are in San Francisco when you smell a homeless person on a warm day. Bonus points if it's on a MUNI bus with all of the windows closed.