Funny Things I Overheard

You can hear a lot of funny things working behind a bar. If you aren't part of the original conversation, the things you do hear may seem random and not make any sense. I recently overheard a few things that were said where I was part of the conversation and they still sounded funny to me:

"Oh yeah. There's another $400 here!"

"Half the club smells like weed."

"No more shots for you!"

"How do I make a Hot Toddy?"

It seems like the later it gets, the more random and entertaining things people say. I chalk it up to public drunkenness. There's never a dull moment with bartending as long as there is alcohol involved.

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Playing the "I'm a bartender" card

It's so incredibly lame when someone comes into my bar, acts like a jackass and then when they complain to me about how I gave them attitude, pull the "I'm a bartender" card. If these people really were bartenders they would:

1-Not act like a jackass in the first place.
2-Order fast and easy drinks to make if the bar looks busy. In other words, not be high maintenance.
3-Be patient.
4-Not approach the bar until they knew exactly what they wanted to order and were ready to order it.
5-Not start off the transaction with "I'm sorry to be a pain in the ass but..."

When people pull this "I'm a bartender..." crap on me, I not only question if they truly are a bartender, but I can't help but wonder, what in the hell kind of bar do they actually work at?

I have worked in a variety of bars during my bartending career and I know better than to pull this kind of crap on anyone else. To me, announcing that you're a bartender in a situation where you are clearly the one who is throwing attitude and acting like a jackass just screams "douche".

When did bartending get so serious?

San Francisco has a unique cocktail culture. We have a rich history with our bars and cocktails. We are also currently considered to be one of the forefront cities when it comes to cocktail trends (right up there with New York). This is a blessing for some San Francisco bartenders. For others, this can also be a big pain in the ass.

Unfortunately being considered a forefront city for cocktail culture takes a lot of fun out of bartending for some of us bartenders. I admit, when I first started bartending, I didn't know the 25 classic cocktails according to BarSmarts. I didn't know whether to stir or shake my Martinis and Manhattans. There wasn't a bottle of bitters to be found at my bar. The freshest ingredients I used were the lemon and lime wedges cut fresh that night. That was also six years ago and when I lived/worked in San Jose.

Nowadays, I reside and work in San Francisco. I have been formally introduced to the mixology side of bartending and I love it. I am a fact nerd when it comes to things I am interested in. So it makes sense that I am always reading about the history of cocktails and bar culture, learning classic and new techniques for crafting cocktails and experimenting with all things alcohol. The quest for knowledge is fun and IF my customers are interested, I love sharing my knowledge with them as well.

This sort of thing stops being fun when customers feel like bartenders are too big-for-their-britches and shove their knowledge down their throat. People get it. San Francisco is really cool and cutting edge. Sometimes though, people just want what they want because they want it, not because an old cocktail recipe book or celebrity bartender told them so. There is nothing wrong with that. I respect bartenders/mixologists quest for knowledge and their desire to educate the masses, but in the end it really all comes down to the customer and making the customer happy. Some customers don't care about the science behind why there might be a taste difference between a stirred Manhattan and a shaken Manhattan. If that customer wants their Manhattan shaken, then the bartender should shake that Manhattan and serve it to the customer with a smile.

After all it is the customer who is leaving the tip and its the tips that constitute a bartender's living.

Smooth Sailing Saturday

Every now and then you are blessed with a night that is extremely busy, and yet it runs smoothly. People come in at a constant pace instead of all at once. People are nice. People tip well. The drinks for the server tickets are being made as fast as the orders come in. Customers are happy. Tonight, I was blessed with one of these nights.

I only had one guy who threatened to disrupt the smoothness of the night. He ordered his drink and while watching me make the drink he ordered, decided that he wanted to change his order to a whole other drink completely. I laid down the law with him and told him that he had already ordered the one drink and that he couldn't change his mind AFTER I made the drink he ordered, unless he wanted to buy both drinks (which he didn't). I thought he was going to give me a hard time. Maybe it was the smile I flashed him when I told him that I wouldn't take his nonsense that won him over? Whatever it was, he agreed with me, accepted his drink and paid for it.

At the end of the night, the same guy came up to me and asked me if he could have a free shot. My policy on when people ask me for free stuff? If you have to ask, you don't deserve it in the first place. The answer will always be a firm NO. The guy told me that I was strict. I told him that I was the bar manager and that it was my job to be strict. I gave him this whole schpeal about having to lead by example, yadda yadda yadda. I was just happy to tell him no and when he whined about it, I was more than happy to play my manager card. He felt like a schmuck asking the manager for a free drink. Whoopsie!

You play, you pay buddy.

Other than that, tonight was smooth sailing. I wish every busy Saturday night could run as smoothly as tonight did.

My little black book

I was cleaning out my closet today and found my old, little black book from when I first started bartending. It's just a little black address book where I would hand write in drink recipes that I learned to make in my early days of bartending. I would make these drinks on a regular basis at the bars I was working at the time. My little, old book contains recipes for drinks like the AMF, Apple Martini, Cosmo, Fuzzy Navel, Kamikaze, Key Lime shot, Lemon Drop, Melon Ball, Oatmeal Cookie shot, Purple Hooter, Red Headed Slut, Scoobie Snack and the Woo Woo.

Nowadays, my little black book is a bit more evolved. I have graduated to a fancier moleskin. My drink recipes are a bit more extensive and sophisticated, requiring fresh ingredients and muddling.

Going through my book instantly brought me back to when I started working behind a bar. I was so nervous and yet so excited to learn everything I could about bartending. From day one, I always wanted to be a really good bartender. Who knew that the part-time job I had while getting my undergraduate degree from college would actually turn into a full-fledged career?

I still have the same passion for bartending as the very first day I started.

Attitude is a direct reflection of where you work

I strongly believe that the type of bar a person works in greatly effects their attitude at work. When I worked in a nightclub, I had to deal with stupid, ignorant, drunk, young bastards all night long looking for freebies and fights and complaining about the prices of the drinks, the actual alcohol content within the drinks (usually whining about how they couldn't taste the alcohol and wanted more without paying for it) and having to wait to place their drink order.

Since I made the switch to restaurants, my customers don't seem to be as aggressive and cheap as the nightclub crowd was. I typically serve older, more mature crowds now. These people are somewhat knowledgeable about their booze and overall are better tippers. Don't get me wrong. Occasionally, I'll get a customer in a restaurant who makes me fight to keep "bitter bartender" buried deep, down inside. But in the big picture sense, the crowds are like night and day. So is my attitude. I am so much happier working behind the bar in a restaurant.

I work at a bar that features specialty cocktails. We use a lot of fresh ingredients to make those cocktails. The drinks are labors of love and take a bit longer to make than a vodka cran or a rum & coke. I have a lot of pride in the cocktails I make these days because they are creations and actually take some sort of skill to create them. Working as a nightclub bartender, I didn't have much pride in the drinks I made. At the end of the night, it was all about how much I had rang in my register.

I even enjoy talking to my customers nowadays. I enjoy making their labor intensive cocktails. My positive attitude is directly reflected onto my customers. I don't have as many colorful stories to write about on a nightly basis because for the most part, my customers get it.

Every now and then, I will get a customer that either makes me scratch my head or really pisses me off. It's these situations that really inspire me to keep a blog like this in the first place. Since I can't tell those customers how I really feel, I need some place to vent.

When I was an instructor at the bartending school, I would always tell my students that there was a different bar for every type of personality. The challenge was to find the right bar for them. Finding their perfect bar would result in being a happy bartender. Working in a bar that really makes me happy and knocks my socks off may not be the same bar for the next person. That's ok. Everyone is different.

I am just so happy that I have finally found the type of bar that makes me really happy. Even on my shittiest nights behind the bar, I am still happy to be a bartender and satisfied that I am in the right career for me.