Thursday, January 20, 2011

Things I've Learned Bartending in a Strip Club #15


#15: You don't always get what you pay for in a strip club.

In strip clubs, customers believe that they get what they pay for. The more expensive the dancer, the better she'll be. The more expensive the alcohol, the classier it is.

I'm here to tell you that it's a big, fat MYTH. You do not get what you pay for in a strip club. In fact, the more you spend on something in a strip club, the bigger a loser you are. You better believe that the entire staff is watching you and snickering behind your back.

It would always crack me up when young guys (just barely past legal drinking age) would come into the club and make a big deal about ordering chilled shots of anything ("Goose", Patron, Belevedere) with pineapple backs, "Henney" and cokes or request Hennessey mixed with apple juice. Seriously? Take the bottle out of your mouth. We don't even carry apple juice. No legit bar does.

Real drinkers understand that top shelf alcohol (the expensive stuff that is so good, it has to sit on the back shelf of a bar and not in the well) is meant to be enjoyed on its own. It's not made to shoot back. It's not made to mix with soda, juice or any type of mixer. It's really not even meant to muddle with fresh fruit.

Bartending in a strip club, I recognized my place. I wasn't there to educate my clueless customers. I was there to sell drinks. My sole purpose was to make money for the club and fill my tip jar. There were plenty of times during a shift when all of us bartenders would share plenty of rolled eyes and "You're never going to believe what this asshole did..." type of stories. This is part of the reason why bartending in a strip club was the easiest type of bartending I had ever done. Certainly not the proudest moments of my bartending career, but it paid the bills and was a lot of fun.

8 comments:

Derek L. said...

Hi hi! Long time no see :)

My belief - top shelf liquor should be taken neat, on the rocks, or at most with a splash of water.

Do you take requests? If so, I'm curious about actual sex in a strip club. Chris Rock says there's no sex in the champagne room. I'm wondering what's your experience with it. And do guys frequently pick up (successfully) on the dancers?

Tavo said...

Hi Cielo Gold! It's Tavo, Alexandra and I just wanted to say hi and see how everything is going, we just moved into the Mission, we have to hang out and have that Rock Band competition we talked about. Take care!

Cielo Gold said...

Derek, as far as I could see, there was no sex in the champagne room. The champagne rooms at the club that I worked at had glass walls. You could see in and out. I am sure just like with anything, where there's a will, there's a way. Sex in the champagne was very strongly discouraged in our club.

Let's be realistic. Most of the girls working in a strip club are there for the money, not to make a love connection. The name of the game in the strip club is that the girls create a fantasy. The only thing that guys would leave the club with was an empty wallet.

Tavo-Congratulations on the move!! You guys are SO ON for the Rock Band competition. I've been practicing. ;)

The Restaurant Manager said...

"the more you spend on something in a strip club, the bigger a loser you are"

With this one sentence you pulled back the arrow in your bow, let it fly and hit the bulls-eye dead on!!

Great post!

Cielo Gold said...

Thanks Restaurant Manager!!

I have plenty more stories and lessons I've learned while bartending in a strip club on the way. Stay tuned for more colorful posts.

S.C. said...

sdfsdfs

S.C. said...

I can definitely relate to that “you don’t always get what you pay for” philosophy. In massage therapy, clients often think that if they go with a different, more expensive massage therapist then they will get a better massage. Not the case. Different massage therapists charge different rates than other therapists. I once had a client describe an experience about him going to an extremely upscale spa in Orlando, Florida. It was part of a theme park resort so the client assumed that he would get an excellent massage. What he received ended up being “the worst massage of his life.” He made the comment that the chair therapist at the airport from Orlando was much better and cheaper than the spa therapist. So as you can see, the price does not necessitate the quality.

Tera Gold said...

I am positive just like with anything, exactly where there's a will, there's a way
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