Saturday, February 19, 2011

Things I've Learned Bartending in a Strip Club #24


#24: It's never a good idea to bring your significant other to a strip club.

95% of the customers who come into a strip club are male. The few female customers who come into a strip club usually come in with their significant other. I understand why couples come into a strip club. Some of them want to rev up their sex life. Others are curious. Let's be honest, what guy wouldn't want to jump all over the chance to watch his girl be smothered by another female? But at what price? I'm not talking about the nominal fee that you have to pay for the attention, but the emotionally charged insecurities that a strip club can bring out of that significant other.

Most of the time whenever couples came into the club, they would be pretty low key. They would either stop by the bar on their way in for a drink or two before finding a table out on the main floor. Some would skip the bar all together and hide in a corner, scouting out all of the girls and build up their liquor courage with each round the cocktail waitresses would bring them.

One couple stood out in particular as being the worse case scenario couple to have ever come into a strip club. When this couple first started their adventure at our club that night, their first stop was the bar.

The woman was clearly uncomfortable. The first thing the woman had told me was that coming into the strip club had not been her idea and that she didn't want to be there. I couldn't blame her. My heart went out to her. Her husband was clearly trying to fulfill some selfish sexual fantasy of his at his wife's expense. She warmed up to me almost instantly, probably because out of all of the girls in the club, I was wearing the most clothes.

As the husband excused himself to the restroom, the woman confided in me that she had never been in a strip club. I made it my mission to make this woman feel as comfortable as possible. I quickly assisted my cocktail waitresses and random customers that were ordering drinks at the bar while I still maintained my full attention on my conversation with this woman. I quickly gained her trust as I gave her the "ins" and "outs" of the club. I gave her a full layout of the land. I pointed out where things were in the club like the dj booth, restrooms and champagne rooms. I even made a point to show her the entertainers who I thought were cool and "girl friendly."

When her husband finally came back to join us at the bar, I could tell that the restroom hadn't been his only stop. Apparently he had made a few friends along the way and had been doing a little scouting for him and his wife. He started a tab with me and told me that for each round he ordered, he wanted his drink to be a double and to go light on the alcohol for his lady. I didn't really understand where he was going with his request, but I obliged. I decided to make a mental note to keep a close eye on the couple. I had a strange feeling about these two.

The first couple of rounds the husband and wife had at the bar seemed pretty harmless. One by one, the entertainers made their introductions to the couple. With each girl that came by, the wife would turn around to me and seek my approval. I gave her a wink for the girls I thought were cool and a little shrug for the girls I thought she should steer clear of. She appreciated my nonverbal clues and gave me a secret thumbs up for when she agreed with my taste.

Eventually one of the girls whom I had given the woman a wink about made her way into the champagne room with the couple. The hour they spent in the champagne room went by without a hitch. Once their time was up, the couple and their entertainer of choice emerged from the champagne room with smiles on their faces and saddled up at the bar together. It was clear that the wife no longer felt insecure or uncomfortable even though she was amongst girls half her age, running around in their underwear.

It wasn't until half way through the couple's next round at the bar that things started to take a turn for the worse. While the woman had been involved in a conversation with the entertainer who had joined the couple in the champagne room, her husband had managed to strike up a conversation with another entertainer. As soon as the wife realized that her husband was talking to another woman, something inside her snapped. She got up from the bar abruptly and stormed off to the restroom. The entertainer who had been talking to her followed her into the restroom to make sure she was okay.

The husband remained at the bar, unfazed that his wife was upset with the fact that he was talking with another woman. It wasn't until the man had decided that he wanted to go back into the champagne room with his new friend that he noticed his wife was no longer at the bar.

For the next two hours, I had to watch the wife trying to be coaxed out of the restroom in tears by a group of entertainers while her husband told me how crazy his wife was. According to the husband, it was the alcohol that made his wife crazy and insecure, never mind the wife's the realization that her husband loved spending time in strip clubs on a regular basis without her. Ouch!

I felt sorry for the wife. The first thing she had told me when the two of them had come in that night was how she didn't want to be in the strip club in the first place. It was obvious that she was insecure. She knew deep down inside that her husband frequented strip clubs. His insistence of her being in the club with him that night only solidified that insecurity. She could only play along for so long before the alcohol kicked in and her insecurities came rushing out.

Do yourself a favor. If your significant other tells you that they don't want to go to a strip club because it makes them feel uncomfortable, don't take that as an opportunity to get her drunk and force her to live out your girl-on-girl fantasy. Nothing says buzz kill like having the girls who are suppose to be creating a sexy fantasy for you, trying to calm down your girl who can't stop crying in the restroom.

7 comments:

The Restaurant Manager said...

I couldn't agree more! I would NEVER bring my wife to s strip club. Not that she would go.. but that's beside the point! Excellent post!

fuckmytable said...

I went with my husband to a strip club a month or so ago. Neither of us had ever been before, but we enjoyed it for the most part. I didn't quite enjoy the lapdance he bought me and didn't quite like seeing the girl dance on him later, but then again...he felt the same way. He actually apologized to the dancer because he was flaccid at the end of her lapdance...and it was RAUNCHY and VERY hands-on. She seemed perplexed but I laughed because he's just not comfortable with that sort of environment.
It worked out fine for us (and we're going back for a friend's birthday this month) but that may be because we're more secure in our relationship than other couples are.

Poor girl in your story, though...and what a dumbass boyfriend (husband?). If you're going to bring your wife/girlfriend, you'd better make damn sure she's having a good time and make it your number one priority, because otherwise it's all going to hell.

S.C. said...

That's so terrible for a man to bring his significant other to one of those kinds of places.

Up The Mountain said...

Oh my goodness - it's obvious that their relationship had issues that needed working out in a counsellor's office NOT a strip club!
Well, here's a good news story. My boyfriend and I have friends who are entertainers, and we've watched a few of them at work and had really great times together - at strip clubs. Man, some of those pole tricks are stellar! When going to strip clubs as a couple, I've not experienced insecurity (and I'm just a regular Jill, a pretty-to-average looking female) and my boyfriend and I often admire the entertainers for their 'assets' and skill.
Courtesy and consideration are important for one's spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend and others - whether it be at a strip club or a country club. The surroundings don't alter the fact that you still have to be a civilised human being!

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MrsElkins said...

As a former stripper myself and bisexual, I am more interested in going and getting dances than my husband. I was a stripper for 6 years and danced with many open minded couples, even a few lesbian couples. As long as the dancer pays more attention to the woman and makes her feel comfortable, there shouldn't be an issue. This article is extremely one sided. Not all female patrons are insecure and close minded.